Second Chance

Sometime in life we walk through the wrong door. Sometime when we walk through that door Satan is standing right there waiting with and open hand. Sometime we willingly take his hand and willingly let him lead us around for a while. Excusing the things that are taking place as if God would understand or if we are being honest...if God would not notice.

Then things change and Satan isn't so much fun anymore or worth the risk. But it too late. The damage is done. The pain is sooo great and no matter how hard we try we can't hide the scar or take back the choices we have made. Oh, the pain is so deep and so shameful.

But wait, we think... I am a victim. How could God let this happen to me if He loves me so much. Where was God. Where was He when I chose to ignore Him, when I chose to not obey Him, when I chose to try to hide my sinful nature from Him. Where was He!...Suddenly it doesn't sound as if we are the victim anymore.

See the thing was He was there. He was just watching and waiting. He was watching me. Watching me take the path He laid out for me and mangle it up, trash it, destroy it, ignore it and try to make it into something I created.

It amazes me as I sit here this very night. How through all that God just waited. Waited for me to say God I...need...you.

And when I did. He came. He listened and he provided. He did not erase all the scars I created in my life. He will simply used them to His glory. He did not make my life perfect he simply made it possible. He did not condemn me, he loved me.

And though I willingly left the path. I willingly walked away. I willingly opened that door and willingly walked with Satan. He willingly provided me a second chance. A second chance I didn't deserve. A second chance to get back on the path. And on this path He has provided me so much more then what the first path had to offer or is it that I can see the value now.

And you know what the funny thing is...right at this moment in front of me is a door. The wrong door and Satan is waiting... with an open hand...but this time I am not walking through.

I'm so IN LOVE with you...

My husband is now on his way to Africa doing what the Lord has called him to do. Some ask if I am ok with him being gone. I respond how can I not be. How can I not be ok with the Lord calling my husband to do his work. I am honored and amazed to have a husband that the Lord has chosen to share his wisdom with. I am amazed by God and all His wonders.

Who am I to desire any different. Who am I to be uncontent with what the Lord has planned. Who am I. I am but a servant who has no right but to approach the thrown of God and call out to him in praise. I was made to Love Him and be loved by Him.

There should be no other desire in my heart but to be content in what the Lord has set before me no matter what the circumstances. May it be Joy, Sorrow, Tears, Happiness, Pain, or suffering. He is God.

And I will simply ask...Lord what is it you are trying to teach me in these moments.

The Lord gives and the Lord taketh away. And I praise him in all.

So I sit and wait here for you to return to me, my husband, the man you have given me. So when they ask. How do you feel that your husband is gone to Africa I say he is not gone but doing the work of the Father. My husband is not mine...

Poem

I sit here and pray my love.
I sit here and pray at the feet of The Lord.

I wait here my love.
I wait here at the feet of the Lord.

I want to be with you my love.
I want to be with you at the feet of the Lord.

I am silent my love.
I am silent my love as I wait at feet of the Lord.

Here I will Lay my love.
Here I will Lay at the feet of the Lord.

Here I will wait my love.
For you are not mine, my love.

You are His, and I am His.

And Together we wait at His feet.
Till we can be together again.

Simple Question

Today I took the first step of meeting my husbands needs. I asked him a simple question. With no expectations and telling myself "do not be offended" but to take joy in knowing what his heart desire of me visually. Men our visual creatures. And we are emotional creatures. So let's make the first step.

My question was:
I would like you to write me a list of 5 things I could do to make myself more attractive to you.

His Answer:

1. wear makeup
2. wear perfume daily
3. do your hair either straight or curly
4.dress up every once in a while for me(not only when going somewhere.)
5. wear lipstick

Boy it didn't take him but a minute to get it back to me. But after seeing this I realized how easy it would be for me to satisfy my husband visually, if I just took the time.

Just 15 minutes a day to pamper myself and in turn satisfy my husbands desires.
Double bonus!!!

Happy Pampering
Fellow praying wife